I wanted to share an interesting case study with you as this is not my only client I have seen with the problem of ‘sexy back’!
A young female in her early 20s, was having a lot of trouble with her lower back and sciatic nerve. She’d already been hospitalised several times with the pain and there was talk of back surgery but she’d been told to lose weight before that could go ahead. She’d tried other therapies with no relief and then a friend of hers (a client of mine) had told her to see me.
There was structural misalignment in her lower spine and hips – she had grown up on a property and used to ride horses, had several falls, but now worked at an office in the city. She wasn’t getting any physical exercise and her muscle tone was very poor. However she responded quickly with her first Bowen session and had significant relief.
She was very excited to be able to move with substantially less pain.
I spoke to her about needing to rebuild muscle tone to support the corrections, suggested some gentle exercises she could do at home to support her recovery.
Her second session also went well and we got further improvement to the stage where she was no longer in pain. She hadn’t however chosen to do any of the exercises or stretches to help herself. I explained again the importance of building and maintaining muscle tone to keep pain free.
Her third treatment was totally different. She came in limping and in severe pain. Her father came in this time with her. She told me she had been great, no pain and full mobility until the weekend, then something had gone drastically wrong – she didn’t know what.
Her father sat out in reception while I helped his daughter but as I came out of her clinic room he grabbed me.
“She’s been going really well coming here but it’s her husband.” he whispered.
“He works away on shifts but he came back over the weekend. A long weekend, it’s too much sex or what he makes her do. It’s happened before but she won’t listen!”
I knew it was possible and could see he was very concerned. Recent activity had made her pelvis unstable and because of her poor muscle tone and lack of fitness she was back in trouble.
So if you are in a similar situation, just be aware of ‘sexy back’.
There are positions where you can still have fun or a loving connection but not put your back at risk. Slow and supported tends to work better than fast and rough, and honest communication with your partner is important. Be conscious of positions that hurt or trigger your lower back pain and adjust accordingly.
Typically the person with lower back pain would take a more passive role and pillows can be used to support the back, hips or go under the knees, etc. Suggested positions depend on the type of pain and the actions that trigger it but may include seated using a chair or laying on the side and spooning.
Having a hot shower before sex can also be helpful and can loosen tight muscles, easing cramp and spasm. Don’t hesitate to ask your doctor or therapist for positions specific for your condition – they won’t mind, they would rather you use safe positions and stay pain free!